We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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