My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
