First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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