Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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