Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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