It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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