Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
this hospital has no fireball
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
