is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
