No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
