Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just made my gag reflex go away.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
