there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
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Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
we should paint friendship bongs
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