your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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