i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
