i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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