So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
