Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
