Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
