Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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