i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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