I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize