Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
