..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
