First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
