Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He passed out mid-signature
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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