so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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