the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
