let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
