her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize