You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
