put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
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was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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