whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you traded sex for a burrito?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
