Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
