Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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