An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
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Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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