i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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