Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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