Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
