eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
