Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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