What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
