She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize