dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
