just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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