Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
