trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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