bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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