I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
