Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My life is pants optional.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
