Why are handjobs necessary in class?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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