dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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