the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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