Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize