3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
