i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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