I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Michael Bay diarrhea
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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