new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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