I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
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I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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