I cannot find my penis.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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