dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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