thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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