Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I stole a fireplace last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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